CHURCH POPULARITY SOARS!

The popularity of The Church of Sycophantology is soaring among Republican supporters of Our Heroic President. 
Church officials report ad hoc church meetings in the back stairways of Congress, and prayer vigils in the bushes outside the White House. 

A special evening of Cabinet members, organized by the church, was held at a glamorous Trump resort. Outside of the the prying eyes of the press, Cabinet members recited Church prayers, sang Church hymns, and chatted with influential criminal defense attorneys. 

"Of critical importance is the need to perpetuate the Church's values in government. Government without sycophantology is unthinkable. Now more than ever, we must maintain the pretension of honesty and integrity while protecting, in whatever way and at whatever cost, Our Sycophantic President-in-Chief. The law be damned!" stated our Distinguished AG Barr. 

At the end of the dinner party, the church passed around the collection box. Some attendees, accustomed to dealing in cash, dropped wades of laundered bills into the box while others wrote promissory notes for government grants. 

What a great spiritual renewal for the Grand Old Republican Party .