CHURCH POPULARITY SOARS!

The popularity of The Church of Sycophantology is soaring among Republican supporters of Our Heroic President. 
Church officials report ad hoc church meetings in the back stairways of Congress, and prayer vigils in the bushes outside the White House. 

A special evening of Cabinet members, organized by the church, was held at a glamorous Trump resort. Outside of the the prying eyes of the press, Cabinet members recited Church prayers, sang Church hymns, and chatted with influential criminal defense attorneys. 

"Of critical importance is the need to perpetuate the Church's values in government. Government without sycophantology is unthinkable. Now more than ever, we must maintain the pretension of honesty and integrity while protecting, in whatever way and at whatever cost, Our Sycophantic President-in-Chief. The law be damned!" stated our Distinguished AG Barr. 

At the end of the dinner party, the church passed around the collection box. Some attendees, accustomed to dealing in cash, dropped wades of laundered bills into the box while others wrote promissory notes for government grants. 

What a great spiritual renewal for the Grand Old Republican Party .

SYCOPHANTIC EDEN IS NOW!

Recent press reports of dissent within the Church of Sycophantology are greatly exaggerated. Yes, there is a small group of heretics who are making some noise. Contrary to Church dogma and the beneviolent wisdom of the Church elders, these rebels think that it is time to flush  
Our Greatest President down the age-old drain. 

LET IT BE KNOWN that The Church hierarchy emphatically rejects this false doctrine. We are living in a Sycophantic Eden, so let’s get behind our Sycophantic Savior and not eat the forbidden fruit of false news.

These infidels reason that DJT’s overinflated ego is expanding minute-by-minute with the result that he is becoming a sloppy, pathetic loser unworthy of sheparding our spiritual flock. Instead of greatness and audacity, Our Shining Light has become a broken vinyl record who boasts he can muscle the Democrats, Congress and the Rule of Law aside without any serious repercussions. Our Mob Boss President, they argue, is banking on these guys being easy pushovers.

Also, at the crux of their beliefs is the idea that Our Brilliant Leader is endangering their wellspring. Our church teachings emphasize grabbing whatever you can, when you can. However, if one grabs too much, the whole enterprise may collapse. DJT’s reckless behavior, they argue, may cause the church innocent to suffer unjustly.

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Sycophants of the world unite to save our Golden Haired Angel. In his duplicity, we have plundered and pillaged our great nations. In his mendacity, he has diluted the word “truth” with the ardor of a saint. Thanks to our Saintly President his faithful followers embrace every lie he lovingly utters. Words don’t matter. Facts don’t matter. Deeds don’t matter.

Our Leader Preys on you, Pray for him. 

Bless Our Leader's faithful friends in Russia. They stand by his side, and look forward to our next free election.