THE CHURCH OF SYCOPHANTOLOGY ASKS: #4

Why does the mainstream press continue to promote the falsehood that Our President is "a team of one?"
Today's NYT headline, "Impeachment Strategy? A One-Man War Room," obscures the true facts.

Our Dear President is an Involver-in-Chief. Take his latest Ukraine gambit. Didn't Our Dear One call on the services of Legal Wiz Rudy and his firm; AG Barr and his DOJ crew; Department of Secretary Pompeo and his loyal aides; and even quiet but faithful Vice Pres Pence? And what about all the White House staff who are tasked with hiding his secret communications? After all, Our Donald doesn't do the xeroxing all by himself. 

"Hey everybody! I'm about to make a great, great telephone call. Come listen to how a perfect telephone call to a chief- of-state is made," are the words that frequently echoes through the halls of the White House. Our Sharer-in-Chief invites not just to his hardworking but less capable Cabinet members but whoever happens to be around. 

Isn't this proof that Our Dear President sincerely wishes to share responsibility?

SYCOPHANTIC EDEN IS NOW!

Recent press reports of dissent within the Church of Sycophantology are greatly exaggerated. Yes, there is a small group of heretics who are making some noise. Contrary to Church dogma and the beneviolent wisdom of the Church elders, these rebels think that it is time to flush  
Our Greatest President down the age-old drain. 

LET IT BE KNOWN that The Church hierarchy emphatically rejects this false doctrine. We are living in a Sycophantic Eden, so let’s get behind our Sycophantic Savior and not eat the forbidden fruit of false news.

These infidels reason that DJT’s overinflated ego is expanding minute-by-minute with the result that he is becoming a sloppy, pathetic loser unworthy of sheparding our spiritual flock. Instead of greatness and audacity, Our Shining Light has become a broken vinyl record who boasts he can muscle the Democrats, Congress and the Rule of Law aside without any serious repercussions. Our Mob Boss President, they argue, is banking on these guys being easy pushovers.

Also, at the crux of their beliefs is the idea that Our Brilliant Leader is endangering their wellspring. Our church teachings emphasize grabbing whatever you can, when you can. However, if one grabs too much, the whole enterprise may collapse. DJT’s reckless behavior, they argue, may cause the church innocent to suffer unjustly.

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Sycophants of the world unite to save our Golden Haired Angel. In his duplicity, we have plundered and pillaged our great nations. In his mendacity, he has diluted the word “truth” with the ardor of a saint. Thanks to our Saintly President his faithful followers embrace every lie he lovingly utters. Words don’t matter. Facts don’t matter. Deeds don’t matter.

Our Leader Preys on you, Pray for him. 

Bless Our Leader's faithful friends in Russia. They stand by his side, and look forward to our next free election.

THANK YOU, OUR BENEFICENT OLIGARCHS

Spoiled, ingrates! Americans don't appreciate the good work our wealthy oligarchs do for them and our entire nation. Where would our museums, hospitals and soup kitchens be without their generosity and the tax code? They even spend millions of dollars every year helping us elect the finest politicians our country has to offer. That’s a public service.
It took our Savior Donald to realize our oligarchs’ incredible contributions. That is why He gave them a tax cut last year. About time! Americans don’t realize what tax haven savvy lawyers charge on an hourly basis. Our Savior knows. And our Savior knows what our wealthy oligarchs must pay to create LLC legal entities so they can freely spend their tax free money (a Right that was mistakenly excluded from the Bill of Rights), money that makes all of us, even the poorest individual, richer. 
The Church of Sycophantology adores our generous oligarchs, and sings their praises with joy, reverence and full-throated thankfulness. 

WE SING PRAISES TO OUR OLIGARCHIC MASTER

KISS UP, KICK DOWN. SUCK UP, GO UP.