THE CHURCH OF SYCOPHANTOLOGY APPLAUDS OUR GREATEST WEATHER FORECASTER
"Eventually it will rain in Alabama," is a scientifically accurate weather prediction that our Sunny Day President realized when he warned Americans of the hurricane Dorian's possible impact on Alabama.
Our Suntanned President understands the interconnectedness of weather systems. Rain today, next week or even next year is intricately connected to past and future storms and hurricanes. It's one large, complicated weather system.
No other President has studied earthly weather with the ferocity of our Weatherman in Chief. Every day, before golfing, he scans the horizon, searching for the sun or approaching clouds. Ever see him holding an umbrella? Beforehand, he knows when it will rain, and stays indoors to watch his favorite shows on TV.
Praise Our Good Weather President. He turned Hurricane Dorian northeast, and made it into a drizzle.