An affinity of humankind for sycophantic behaviors has, according to Social Science researchers, been identified as innate, commencing at birth. The researchers, however, could find no evidence of fetal sycophantic behavior though they did not rule it out. "We are looking at the Evangelical Movement to fund future research," researchers state.
According to the anonymous research published in The Journal for Sycophantology, babies are born with the innate ability to ingratiate themselves to their mother or the person who feeds them. Eye contact or googling creates a loving bond which encourages feeding and adoring attention. Displeasure, in the form of loud boisterous crying, serves as a contrast to the ingratiating behavioral characteristics and, as a consequence, gives the sycophantic behavior an added power.
Sycophantic behavior continues over a lifetime as the mother is replaced by other powerful figures: father, teacher, police, political + religious leaders. ”Dependency and power relationships are built into society so sycophantology is inevitable,” the researchers conclude.
The study was commissioned by the Institute for the Study of Sycophantology, Pharmaceutical Division. It was conducted over a period of ten years. One child was followed from birth to old age. The results were then, using sophisticated algorithms, generalized to the entire population.
Anti-sycophantic drugs tests are currently being conducted. The drugs are meant to encourage infant independence, beginning at birth. Infants would be able to feed, bath, walk and talk and even "order for delivery" at birth. A drug for fetal independence is not far in the future. Both are based upon the theory that maturity can be sped-up by the activation of the appropriate gene(s).
